Expiration dates, running partner & lost retainers

Whew!!

So, where to start?!   Let’s start with the hysterical part of Monday’s bedroom rearranging.  In the course of cleaning & rearranging, I cleaned out my night stand.  The night stand being where my stash of condoms happens to be (and yeah, they are “community property” because I staunchly believe the manlets should have access to protection before anything happens).  I carried them out to the kitchen, probably a dozen or so.   Exclaimed to one of the manlets “you know that you are pathetic when your condoms have freaking EXPIRED!”  Ayup.  5 year shelf life.  Pathetic.  Funny as hell, though!  ROFL!  We’ve all been laughing up a storm over the whole thing all week long.  I had even emailed my father about it because he sent me some entirely appropos sex joke email…  and he wrote back something like this:  “sorrjy aboout all teh typoos… i’m laughinng so hard, teh teears are makign it too hard to see the keys”.

Been trying to write this post all night.  It’s been a crazy night.  Last thing to happen…  the oldest came tearing in to the room a short time ago.  “We gotta go back to Village Inn…  NOW!”  Yup.  Had wrapped his retainers in a napkin and *forgot* them sitting on the table.  So, called them up, explained what happened & that we were on our way back.  Luckily, our server did a bit of a dumpster dive & rescued them.  I’d forgotten my wallet at home, but assured him that he would be getting a big fat tip on our next visit.  :)  That man saved me $500 by his spectacular dive, so believe me, his next tip is gonna be a wee bit more than the usual 20%!

Running

So…  my new running partner?  Totally & completely wimped out on me this morning.  We were all set to run 2 miles together.  I woke him at 5:15.  He said “my gym shorts are in the wash, they aren’t dry”.  I asked him if I got them dry, would he run with me then – he said yes.  So, I dried them & 30 minutes later, woke him again.  Only to hear “I’m tooooo tired, Mom”.  So out the door I go, ran my 2 miles all alone.

BUT – I picked him up from school & told him we were going for our run when we got home.  Got him dressed & out the door we went.  I ran him for 3 miles since he wimped out on me this morning.  *evil grin*  He did really well, we both took several walk breaks.  He is still trying to grow into his legs, so he kind of looks a bit like a baby giraffe running, all legs flying everywhere.   I suspect he’s going to go well above 6′ tall, actually.  He has an uncle that is 6’5″, so it is entirely possible he’ll come close.  At one point, we passed a cute girl jogging in the opposite direction.  She was so busy looking at him that she didn’t pay attention to where she was going & one foot slipped off the trail, causing her to nearly fall face first.  I felt really bad for her, I know she had to have been embarrassed.

Knitting

As much as I adore the little fishies I’m knitting up for my sock yarn blanket, they are also vexing.  They curl up  something terrible, even after blocking!  Arrrrggghhh!  It’s gotten on my nerves so much now that I’m half considering going with the usual mitered square sock yarn blanket.  Or maybe coming up with my own design.  Decisions, decisions.  Maybe I’ll just make the whole fishie garter stitch instead of trying to knit the “eye” part – that is what is causing the curl.  Will have to play around with it some, see what I can come up with.  :)

Today’s Ravelry Search

Oh dear Bob in Heaven.  I actually did do this search, not expecting to find much…  but to my surprise, I was totally wrong!!  ROFL…

* Ballband Keychain Condom Amulet - hows that for a mouthful?  But, pretty cool idea, though!!  :)

* Ballband Keychain Condom Amulet - how's that for a mouthful? But, pretty cool idea, though!! :)

* Is that a condom in your bra or are you just happy to see me?  LOVE it!

* Is that a condom in your bra or are you just happy to see me? LOVE it!

* This is actually the little pouch that goes into the bra.  One could certainly use it to make a more feminine version of a keychain sort of condom amulet, too.

* This is actually the little pouch that goes into the bra. One could certainly use it to make a more feminine version of a keychain sort of condom amulet, too.

* A wire bracelet - how cool is that?!

* A wire bracelet - how cool is that?!

Please note – all of the above patterns are courtesy of the Knit a Condom Amulet project.
GO – visit the website!!  It’s an awesome project to promote awareness & safe sex.  Awesome!

OMG - condom critters!  Look!  They look like owls - I love them!!  :D

OMG - condom critters! Look! They look like owls - I love them!! :D

*  Aw, look at the cute little condom!  I love the use of googly eyes on just about any project - they always make me smile.  :D

* Aw, look at the cute little condom! I love the use of googly eyes on just about any project - they always make me smile. :D

* A crochet condom.  I am not going to say it.  Im not.  But - cute idea to hold your hooks!  ;)

* A crochet condom. I am not going to say it. I'm not. But - cute idea to hold your hooks! ;)

* You know...  knitters will make a cozy for pretty much anything that stands still long enough!  Nifty idea, with the belt loop!

* You know... knitters will make a cozy for pretty much anything that stands still long enough! Nifty idea, with the belt loop!

* I just LOVE the AntiCraft site, dont you?!  Seriously, how can you not love it?!

* I just LOVE the AntiCraft site, don't you?! Seriously, how can you not love it?!

* Sweet!  Even Knitty has offered up condom goodies!  And I fully appreciate that the use of fun fur or eyelash is handy in this case!  ;)

* Sweet! Even Knitty has offered up condom goodies! And I fully appreciate that the use of fun fur or eyelash is handy in this case! ;)

* Oooh, this one is so pretty!  I can totally see me having one of these.

* Oooh, this one is so pretty! I can totally see me having one of these.

* Free pattern

Now…  wasn’t that a blast?!  Seriously, I had so much fun with this one.  :)

Happy Thursday/Friday, all!

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About H3Dakota

Runner. Knitter. Geek. Vegetarian. Dog Lover.
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8 Responses to Expiration dates, running partner & lost retainers

  1. oh dear, 5 years? I hope you didn’t waste them- they could still be blown up and used as balloons…..

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    • H3Dakota says:

      ROFL – I asked the manlets if they wanted them for balloons or maybe for practice. They gave me the WTF look. :D

      Like

  2. sagaciouspines says:

    Spring forward. With the time change, it’s like waking him up at 4:15 in the freaking morning. What are you, crazy? Wait. Don’t answer that.

    Yeah, evenings are less cruel if you aren’t a morning person.

    First PG-rated post from you…

    Like

    • H3Dakota says:

      ROFL, I run, therefore crazy I am! But, in all fairness to him, I had not considered the time change. :)

      he he he, it was bound to happen sooner or later, having a PG rated post. ;)

      Like

  3. peony67 says:

    OMG, that is long… oh, but look who is talking…(roll eyes) at least don’t have to explain how to use them to my boy—yet…

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    • H3Dakota says:

      *grin* It’s been long, but not THAT long. Just stuck with a partner or two that were… incapable of continuing once that aspect was introduced. Though I think there might be a connection between the shelf life & amount of time since *real* satisfactory relations involving a partner have taken place. Oooh. Damn, no. It’s been longer than that. OUCH! Did I say that diplomatically enough? ROFL!

      Oh, my friend – the day will be upon you well before you are ready, TRUST me! It’s really easier if you start early & work bits of information into your conversations on a regular basis so that you (as well as him!) feel comfortable when the time comes to sit him down & have the utterly frank conversation. :)

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  4. peony67 says:

    I know, I know… I was about to say I dread the time, but then I thought better. He is a smart kid and a sensitive one. He already knows thet it is not the stork who brings babies on… So I think the information will go through little by little, and that ackward sit down and talk (you know, bees, flowers and such…hehehe) might not be necessary, or if it is, it might not be so ackward at the end…
    BTW dumpster dive??? Hillarious… make sure the man gets a nice tip next time… A perfect excuse to go back…

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    • H3Dakota says:

      Yes, our boys growing up is a time of mixed feelings – dread, sadness, happiness, pride & excitement. :) I actually got a book for my manlets before they hit puberty that explained the many changes their bodies would go through as they got older. We talked about it often and it led into natural questions – “if this is what happens to us, what happens to girls?” All of which eventually led into questions about sex. It was all good. :)

      LOL – we go to that restaurant often enough that they all know us by now. We have our favorite booth, drinks & meals… most of the servers know what we want. he he he I’m thinking to get him a gift card on top of some cash. Will need to decide soon, as the boys will be back in a couple days & no doubt will want to go there for dinner. :D

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